Who Am I?

Who Am I? 

When people ask me who I am the first mental thought is how easy it used to be to define who I was when I lived in Saudi Arabia. The answer would always be related to my female role in the tribe, the community and the family. Answers are: I am the wife of so and so, the mother of so and so, the daughter of so and so and so on. When I was asked to talk about myself in a job interview after arriving in the United States at the age of 30 I was frozen into silence. Who was I now that I was separated from all these distinctions that I was raised with. Without the tribe and the community I grew up in was survival even possible? The answer I gave was odd to the then editor and chief of D Magazine Wick Allison “Who are you?” he asked. I paused, then answered his question with “I am who I am”. He went on at length about a burning bush from the bible as I pondered what the line had to do with the bible at the time since reading such a book was forbidden to me in Saudi Arabia. 

That day and time in my life always stayed with me as I continue everyday to understand, evaluate, consider and reflect on the world around me. We all see the world through different eyes and I hope you will enjoy seeing it through mine. If you don't, that's ok, it’s not required reading. 

Until today I am unable to answer this question confidently. If you ask my husband he would say “She is a brilliant writer, a super intelligent independent woman and a beautiful soul with a kind spirit. She grew up in Saudi Arabia. She covered her hair and her face until recently and was raised with a conservative Saudi family (Conservative by the western definition of conservative and as a liberal Muslim by Saudi Standards). She got her BA in Psychology and she is the CEO of a thriving business”. But I can’t help but wonder… Is that all I am?

When asked to describe myself I often retreat by using phrases like “I’m not interesting, tell me about you”. Who am I? Who are we? Are there even enough words in any language to describe a life, a soul or a journey? 

When we read about characters in books we often travel along with them on a journey. It is through that journey we as the reader interpret and decide who this character really is and that is all I can say when it comes to me. I hope you come along with me on my journey and tell me a little bit about yours. Maybe together we can figure out who we are and how to describe ourselves. 

Live Life in Color!

Signed, 

The Liberal Hijazi